December 2, 2023
Welcome friends to Meditations in Blue, a serial memoir project documenting my time incarcerated and return to community through journal entries, poetry, essays, and art.
You are welcome to join the story at any point as it unfolds, but if you’d like to begin at the beginning, I have written an introduction here and the first journal entry begins on November 2, 2023.
Thank you so much for being here, bearing witness and building community for healing and transformation.
Additional commentary and reflections are included in the audio recordings
December 2, 2023
Deep Work
Expressing Concern Journal Prompts:
#2 When I see what’s happening to human society, what breaks my heart is…
When I see what’s happening to human society, what breaks my heart is the anger and rage that’s cascading out everywhere it seems and the innocent paying the cost. Our inability to work through conflict in a healthy way, the reliance on violence, in both words and deeds, to “win” and have power over others. Our fixation on our wants and desires in the immediate moment seemingly without care for the cost placed on others and future generations. It breaks my heart how tired those with good hearts are— how often I see them give up the fight to bring love and justice to our world because they are exhausted and beaten down. When I see how quick we are to return to our “business as usual” worlds when things, events, circumstances make us uncomfortable my heart becomes heavy. The pain is unbearable that some people have been tasked to carry and the addition of feeling ostracized from polite society feels cruel and unusual amidst their crises. I wonder if we will find our way back to a collective experience where crises bind the village together closer rather than rip us apart? Will family, community come to mean something again in this world? Are we simply now a culture of consumers incapable of compassion? I think not completely, but all too often my heart shatters at what seems proof of that story.
Such an early morning after a late night and to be woken up for a breakfast where the only thing I could eat was a piece of cake— I would have preferred to sleep and stay in bed and not hear about drama and complaining. Such a rough way to start the day. I thought I would go back to sleep and start my morning routine later in the day but I am so jacked up with everything that happened at breakfast and now the lights are on bright early so I seem to be up for the day. There are no groups, classes, or visits scheduled for me today so I know I will be able to rest later.
Monny finished up with the book so I have that to look forward to reading today and I very much am :-) I think I will ask if Shelley can send a copy to Ange, I think it might be helpful and her having her own copy would be great so she could take her time with it. She’s upset with me that I asked for my art books back and I think in the future I won’t lend her books that I’m not okay with not getting back in a timely manner because I am still wanting to use them myself.
I’m dreaming of the garden spaces this morning. Growing beautiful flowers, baking sourdough bread, making art, and sharing a home with Julie. Alice and Sandy are up now and loud this morning— I think I will lay down and begin to read “We’re All Doing Time” and begin the day again in a few hours after all.
Surya Namaskar Count: 5
That is the end of this day’s entry.
Thank you for being here with me, friends.
And until next time, much love.
